A spokesperson for Stoopid Kardz has just announced that the entire line
of kardz will be retooled to be 100% solar-powered by July of 2018. Billybaby
Buggybumpers, head of Stoopid Kardz R&D division, in a statement to
the press, stated, “Like most companies, we’ve relied on non-sustainable
fossil fuels for too long. This extends to our entire consumer base.
When someone gets one of our kardz, they just naturally use gasoline to
drench and burn it. We at Stoopid Kardz are encouraging everyone to use a
magnifying glass – the power of the sun – to destroy our kardz.
But what about solar powered kardz? Buggybumpers addressed that issue as
well: “When you recieve a Stoopid Kard, instead of reading it indoors in
the evening when you have to turn on the lights, go outside during the day
and read it by the light of the sun. You’ll save fractions of a cent on your
annual electric bill!