Archive for the ‘Stoopid Blog Post’ Category

Posted by

cherrietrick

 

Takes your time… really look…. Don’t give up so easy! C’mon, get serious!

 

HA! Nope! Guess what? Y’can’t do it! You fell for it! It’s a trick photo!
There AIN’T NO CHERRIES IN THIS PICTURE!

 

It’s a optikull deeloosion! We say there’s cherries in the picture so your
brain believes it and “sees” two cherries! What’s this got to do with Stoopid
Kardz? Nothin’! But Stoopid Kardz aren’t deeloosions. They’re crap, but real.

Nostradamus Was Right!

Posted by

Talk about destiny! Here we are in the Year of the Frog Lips and BAM!! — Stoopid Kardz
are now officially a part of the Cosmic Plan – if you buy into all the Nostradamus baloney.
Which we don’t. But, hey, if it sells some kardz, “We always knew Nostradamus was right!”

Stoopid Kardz
Goes Green!

Posted by

greenkard
Yup. We’re going totally green! Hey, we’re as green as the next guy! Here it
is. Our totally green Stoopid Kard for all occasions. Just green. Blank inside.
Only $99.95 (for the envelope – the kard will set you back another $99.95)
Coming in 2025. And remember, Stopid Kardz are ALWAYS Made in the
USA from 100% stuff.

Stoopid Kardz
Welcomes You!

Posted by


Any time a new web page goes up or you get to a landing page, it always says, “Welcome To…
(fill in the thing of your choice). We didn’t want to do that because we think it’s a big
fat cliché. “Welcome to this, welcome to that,” shut up already. But our marketing pros
insisted on it. What we wanted to say was:
 
Stoopid Kardz® – In Your Face! (In a good way.)
 
Either way, here we are! Move over, wimpy, normal cards. “Kardz” are born. The “K” is for
“krap” and the “Z” is for “zebra” (What else? Didn’t you have alphabet books when you
were a kid? “Z” is always for Zebra) That’s what makes Stoopid Kardz® different (Zebras?…
wait…never mind).
 
So, then we came up with another FANTASTIC one! Our tagline was going to be:
 
“Stoopid Kardz® — Even Our Moms Think They Suck!”
 
But the marketing pros (Nancy, Geoffrey, Mary, Larry and Fern) advised (strongly) against
it. We said, “Oh, you wanna throw down, Bro? You think you marketing geeks can come up
with something better, you marketing monkey-brains?” and they were like, “Uh..yeah! That’s
what you hired us for, duh-h-h. So let us do our frikkin’ jobs!”
 
So we did. And they came up with something way better:
 
“ Stoopid Kardz® — quite possibly the rudest, most outrageous, tasteless and
gloriously inappropriate greeting cards on the planet.”
 
Then we fired them for being such know-it-all a-holes. But their tagline rings true – just take a
look at the 60-second video to see how people (the ones that gave us permission to show them
on camera; all you others can get bent) react to a Stoopid Kard when they seem’ em for the
first time.
 
Visit the web site at www.stoopidkardz.com to see them all!
There’s no cliché welcome thing there.

Hey, you! Yeah, YOU!!

Posted by

chicken

Stoopid Kardz ain’t afraid to get a little confrontational now and then, see?
Yeah, confrontational, see? We’re hittin’ the festivals and flea markets, see?
And all you mugs are laughin’ yerselves silly over the kardz, see? And then
comes the kicker – some of youse are sproutin’ feathers and scratchin’ yer beaks
in the dirt, makin’ with the cluckin’ sounds. Some of youse are chickenin’
out! Hey…what the…hey? What’re the kardz, too politically incorrect? Cluck
that! Ain’t nothin’ political about Stoopid Kardz. They’re just STOOPID!
Hey, to give someone a Stoopid Kard takes guts, see? It takes moxie and plenty
of it. Yer friends’ll thank you for a Stoopid Kard because finally – they got
a friend who’s got major Cajones who gives ‘em a kard with major “Ka-Joneys.”
So grow some “Ko-honeeze” yerself and give all the special someones in yer
Stoopid Kardz for every occasion – before YOU sprout feathers and start
layin’ eggs!

Stoopid Kardz’z’z’s
Worldwide Search
for a Mascot

Posted by

So many companies and products have some sort of character/mascot. Y’know,
all kinds of sports teams have them, and different cereals and other junk,
like the bee for Honey Nut Cheerios, and Uncle Ben for rice and Betty Crocker
for cakes and stuff and that scary frozen-faced fake head Burger King and the
Geico gekko. So, heck, why not Stupid Kardz? We’re going to scour the world
for the perfect mascot – an irresistible something-or-other that will spread
the questionable good will and crappy values that Stoopid Kardz stands for.
Let the search begin! … Wow! We found our first candidate already!
How about this?…

STOOPY

Stoopy the Stoat!…

Does he get your vote?

Posted by

SpellStupid

C’mon kids, get yer pencils out! (Anybody still use pencils these days?) Here’s a fun game
to play and the winner will receive… nothing. Nada. What-do-you-think, we give stuff away
for free? Hm, probably it wasn’t the smartest thing to do, telling you you don’t get zilch
for playing this game. Hey, but it creates awareness about Stoopid Kardz. That’s what our
marketing team keeps telling us we have to do: create awareness. Just to show you we’re all
in this together, we’ll play, too. Here goes: Stupid. Stoopid. Stoupid. Stouppid. Stewpid.
Steupid. Stuppid. Stuupid. Stupidd. Stewpidd. Steupidd. Stooooooooooooooooooopid.
Stoupidd.
Stouppidd.
Stu..
man, what a waste of time! Screw this.

Halloween FREE!
Kard #3!

Posted by

promo_03
GET YER FREE STOOPID HALLOWEEN KARD!
This is Kard 3 of 3

 

You know you can’t look away!
And by the way, that picture above IS NOT the free kard.
To see the real thing, Read on…

 

FOR A KARD YOU CAN PRINT
To view it or download it
CLICK RIGHT HERE
and you can download high a resolution Stoopid Kard for Halloween!

 

They’re ready for printing. Just go online or go to your local Staples or
Office Max or Joe’s Bigass Office Supply Shed and Port-A-Potty and purchase:

 

Avery Textured Heavyweight Note Card and Envelopes, 4-1/4 x 5-1/2, 50 per
Box (3379)

 

They’re set up to print two kardz at a time, so print out all the kardz you
want! We don’t get a dime! How’s that for FREE enterprise?

 

FOR A KARD YOU CAN EMAIL
To view it or download it
CLICK RIGHT HERE
and download the JPG file. Attach it to an email and send it to everyone in
the world!

 

Remember, Stoopid Kardz have been around since the time of the dinosaurs, like
cockroaches. Foist them on your friends! Get them addicted to the best krappy
kardz on the planet!

Return of the Son of
Your Free Halloween Kard!

Posted by

sk_sign

This is Kard 2 of 3
Nope, it ain’t the picture above. That’s just the worm on the hook.
(Note: No worms were harmed during the making of our kardz or
during the creation of this blog post.)

 

Wanna see the kard already? Read on…

 

FOR A KARD YOU CAN PRINT
To view it or download it
CLICK RIGHT HERE
and you can download high a resolution Stoopid Kard for Halloween!

 

They’re ready for printing. Just go online or go to your local Staples or Office Max or
Joe’s Bigass Office Supply Shed and Port-A-Potty and purchase:

 

Avery Textured Heavyweight Note Card and Envelopes, 4-1/4 x 5-1/2, 50 per Box (3379)

 

They’re set up to print two kardz at a time, so print out all the kardz you want!
We don’t get a dime! How’s that for FREE enterprise?

 

FOR A KARD YOU CAN EMAIL
To view it or download it
CLICK RIGHT HERE
and download the JPG file (right-click, “Save image as”. Attach it to an email and
send it to everyone in the world!

 

Remember, Stoopid Kardz are what the Declaration of Independence WOULD HAVE
been if our stuffy ol’ founding fathers had been deluded and stoopid and had
any sense of humor.

 

This Halloween, stick it to your friends! Prank ’em by
getting them hooked on the best krappy kardz on the planet!

 

STAY TUNED FOR KARD # 3 – COMING SOON!

Get Yer Free Stoopid
Horrible Halloween Kard!

Posted by

promo_01

Get Kard 1 of 3 – It’s NOT the picture above!
Wanna See? It’s a surprise…

 

FOR A KARD YOU CAN PRINT
To view it or download it
Click RIGHT HERE!
and you can download high a resolution Stoopid Kard for Halloween!They’re ready for
printing. Just go online or go to your local Staples or Office Max or Joe’s Bigass
Office Supply Shed and Port-A-Potty and purchase:

 

Avery Textured Heavyweight Note Card and Envelopes, 4-1/4 x 5-1/2, 50 per Box (3379)

 

They’re set up to print two kardz at a time, so print out all the kardz you want!
We don’t get a dime! How’s that for FREE enterprise?

 

FOR A KARD YOU CAN EMAIL
To view it or download it
Click RIGHT HERE!
and download the JPG file. Attach it to an email and send it to everyone in the world!

 

And remember, folks: Stoopid Kardz are sugar-free, fat-free, non GMO, zero carbs,
and gluten-free. We got the kardz to put “Stoopid” into every occasion!

Share with your friends! Hook ’em up with the best krappy kardz on the planet!

STAY TUNED FOR KARD # 2 – COMING SOON!